TWISler Update: Join the party, y’all!

Published Feb. 24, 2011

TWISler Update: Join the party, y’all!

As of yesterday, the number of Sarasotans that had put in so much of an effort as to register to vote stood at 267,136. Out of those of us that got that far, 86,487 (32%) claimed to be on the blue team, and 118, 246 (44%) have pledged allegiance to team red. But what to make of those 62,403 renegades — that 24% of us who are so brazenly resistant to commitment toward either of our country’s two ironclad ideals that they can only be classified as “Other” — or as we call them, “The Others”? They think they’re soooo cool with their highfalutin rebel mentalities and their fancy “independent” thinking caps that they probably wear ’em backwards as they ride around on their Harleys all day scaring kids. Continue reading “TWISler Update: Join the party, y’all!”

TWISler Update: Sarasota’s Exit Poll Report Card

Published March 1, 2011

TWISler Update: Sarasota’s Exit Poll Report Card

Okey-Dokey folks, now that the TWISler has enlightened you on who us Sarasotans are as a people and how the wee tiniest tikes among us (voters aged four decades or fewer…) didn’t manage to earn a whole lot of participation points in our the last city commission battle royale. Now, my dear students, the time has come to examine our performance as a whole over the past few semesters. So sit down here, Sarasota lil’ buddy, and let us go over our report card as one big happy family. If we ever hope to become skilled in the ways of the voting lever, it’s important to look at the contests we view as worthy of lever pulling, the color of levers we prefer to pull, and why in the dickens we pull ‘em like that.

Just like any other red-blooded American voter block, we tend to get more excited about the matches with the big name fighters — the ones that have all the announcers on all the big cable news channels arguing about flag-pins and lipstick all the time. A look at the numbers shows we actually don’t do too shabby when it comes time to show up for the big games. Back in the Great General Election of 2008, a big bad 80% of our registrants stormed the polls to split our population clean in half, with our current El Presidente being denied Sarasota’s terrorist fist bump of approval by only 0.1%, or about 200 votes, making The Maverick the only republican presidential candidate in history to almost lose our city’s affection. But we kept to protocol for the U.S. Rep. Race, sending our very own conservative poster child, Mr. “Ya’ know what I mean?” Vern Buchanan, back up to Washington with 53.3% of our blessings. Continue reading “TWISler Update: Sarasota’s Exit Poll Report Card”

TWISler Breakdown: Vote Now! The End is Near!!!

Published March 7, 2011

TWISler Breakdown: Vote Now! The End is Near!!!

OK, valiant brave soldiers of Sarasota. Tomorrow is our day of reckoning, the day when we take up the sword of democracy and go to battle for our leaders, ultimately choosing three of the five voices that will speak on our behalf in matters concerning our fair city and how we will spend our municipal slush fund. Frighteningly, many Sarasotans don’t realize the full extent of the outcome if tomorrow’s City Commission race results in the wrong people taking power. Indeed, our actions tomorrow could culminate in catastrophic consequences of biblical proportions that will echo through the ages for all eternity.

How do we know this? Well, your trusty TWISler just happened to get a sneak peak into the future. It’s such a random story, too. Late last week this hulking leather-clad bad-ass lookin’ guy walks into TWIS headquarters and claims to be some sorta post-apocalyptic cyborg assassin sent back in time by Sarasotans of the future to warn us about voting. At first we thought he was just some bat shit crazy biker asshole that had the wrong dates for Thunder by the Bay, but when he said his name was The Terminator, we knew he had to be the real deal. Anyway, all the guy kept saying is that we have to make sure every registered Sarasotan votes tomorrow, and that electing the right people is the only way to save Sarasota’s humanity. Continue reading “TWISler Breakdown: Vote Now! The End is Near!!!”

TWISler Recap: City Commission Election Results

Published March 10, 2011

TWISler Recap: City Commission Election Results

The TWISler is a little bummed out today. We’re all just kinda feelin’ like poop. Mostly because we tried so hard to “rock” the vote in Tuesday’s City Commission elections, but apparently the polling stations were “a hard place” to find for the vast majority of city voters. After a month-long shock and awe-style email and Facebook GOTV bombardment, it appears the fruit of our labors didn’t even manage to eclipse our last city commission election’s piss-poor 20.79% voter turnout. With only 5,676 of our 32,019 registered voters casting a ballot for a whopping 17.73% attendance rate, it’s a telling and troubling revelation into how much we really care about the direction of our city. Speaking of direction, the number of registered city voters actually decreased by almost 1,000 since the 2009 race. That’s not the right direction, is it? Continue reading “TWISler Recap: City Commission Election Results”

TWISler Update: Rise of the Creatives

Published March 15, 2011

TWISler Update: Rise of the Creatives

Just so you know, the TWISler takes comfort in the baseless assumption that those last 14 citizens who pulled the voting lever for Paul Carigiulo in last week’s city commission election did so from legitimate fear of The Terminator’s wrath, but it’s probably just healthier to admit that we failed to motivate the vast majority of city registrants (82% of them) to express theirs concerns with the ballot punch.

Alas, we have two brand new bouncing baby commissioners, and a third expected in May. And they are gonna be deciding which direction to go at some critical forks in the road. Sarasota has long had an economic game plan aimed at importing and accommodating tourists and retirees. But now with the Creative Class itch people have started scratching, the city is realizing that maybe a more internally focused workforce development approach that seeks to import and accommodate innovative young entrepreneurs might work better to diversify and expand the local economy. Continue reading “TWISler Update: Rise of the Creatives”

TWISler Update: Who will be the next EDC President?

Published March 17, 2011

TWISler Update: Who will be the next EDC President?

Kathy Baylis is the only economic development leader Sarasota County has ever known. She began our quest toward prosperity in 1995 as assistant director of the Chamber of Commerce’s Committee of 100, became head of the Chamber’s economic development function in 1999, and spearheaded the formation of the Economic Development Corporation in 2004, where she has since done one helluva good job as President shaking Sarasota out of its warm and cozy “anti-business” climate.

Unfortunately, as the TWISler informed you back in January via epic battle cry, Baylis plans to step down as our economic overlord as of June, and the crowning of her replacement will indubitably be the most important decision this county makes for some time to come. That’s why we should all be making out with our lucky stars that we’ve managed to attract some serious talent vying to fill the role. Continue reading “TWISler Update: Who will be the next EDC President?”